Green Hills County Zoo
has withdrawn it's planning application for an extension to the Wasp
Enclosure after Roger Quayle (7) of Rotten Row, Hornstown, was stung
to death.
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Greta The Singing Rhinoceros |
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Roger Quayle Poses With His Father |
Roger, a wavy haired,
slack-jawed and rather unsavoury youth was on a trip to the zoo with
Hornstown Primary School. The school had attended the zoo to see the
new attraction, Greta the singing rhinoceros.
It was during a
performance by the rhino that Roger split from the group.
Master Quayle was trying to make his way to the Petting Enclosure. He was notorious the length and breath of
Panchestor High Street for his overly tactile tendencies, so his
destination was of no surprise.
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A Wasp Richard Bartz |
Miss Hermione Wool (31)
single, teacher, said “The first I heard was when that sneak Philip
Capp (9), poet, alerted me to Roger's disappearing act. I instantly
knew where that little freak would go, and I was running to the
petting enclosure when I heard Roger's cries.”
Roger, a backward
child, misread the signposts and ended up at the Wasp Enclosure. It
is a well-known fact amongst entomologists and the general public that
wasps do not respond well to being fondled.
Primary school teacher,
Miss Wool continues, “I turned and ran to the Wasp enclosure, but
it was too late, they were stinging the cr*p out of him. I called for help for a good three minutes before Daghound Douglas turned up".
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Mrs Veronica Quillet |
At a press conference
held later the same day Mr. Douglas, 27, elk historian and qualified
insect wrangler, said, “When I got into the enclosure Master Quayle
was sprawled out on the floor. The wasps were easy to round up as
they were tired and shagged out from all the stinging. As soon
as it was safe Mrs Quillet entered and pulled Roger to her ample
busom. He was one big red swollen sting in a blazer and shorts. Mrs
Quillet called to him, 'Roger, Roger, can you hear me?'. The boy
opened his puffy eyes, whispered something in Mrs Quillet's ear and
passed away”.
Mrs Quillet tried to
avoid answering the question on everybody's lips – what were
Roger's final words?
In the end Mrs Quillet answered, “I pulled
Roger close to me and he looked up and said, 'Zaftig'. I do not know
what it means”.
It is believed that the
Zoo will now use the wasp enclosure extension budget to build a
recording studio for Greta.